Marriage – Types, Rules and Changes

MARRIAGE – TYPES, RULES AND CHANGES

Marriage is customary in nearly every known society. The fact that it exists nearly everywhere does not mean marriage takes the same form or is recognized in similar ways. Marriage is a socially legitimate sexual union, begun with a public announcement and undertaken with some idea of permanence; it is assumed with a more or less explicit marriage contract which spells out reciprocal rights and obligations between spouses, and between the spouses and their future children.

Marriage is a socially approved sexual union in that the couple’s sexual relationship is implicitly understood and legitimated. Societies have had a variety of marriage practices. As George Peter Murdock noted, “Sexual relations can occur without economic cooperation, and there can be a division of labour between men and women without sex. But marriage unites the economic and the sexual.”

DEFINITION

1. Marriage has been defined as ‘a union between man and a woman such that children born to the woman are recognized legitimate offspring of both parents.’

2. According to Malinowski says that marriage is a “contract for the production and maintenance of children.”

3. According to Robert H. Lowie, “Marriage is a relatively permanent bond between permissible mates.”

TYPES OR FORMS OF MARRIAGE:

As a universal social institution marriage is found to exist in all societies and at all stages of development. Types or forms of marriage vary from society to society but the institution of marriage is very much the same. In some societies, marriage is a religious sacrament whereas in others it is a social contract. However, there are several types of marriage that are classified on a different basis. This can be classified into three types as Monogamy, Polygamy and group marriage.

1. Monogamy: 

Monogamy is an ideal, widespread and rational type of marriage. It is found in all civilized societies. Monogamy refers to a marriage in which one man marries one woman. Monogamy is of two types such as serial Monogamy and non-serial Monogamy.

i. Serial Monogamy: 

In serial Monogamous marriage, the possibility of remarriage exists in case of divorce or death. Inspite of his remarriage, he remains to be monogamous.

ii. Non-serial Monogamy: 

In the case of non-serial monogamy, the question of remarriage does not arise by either of the couples. Here a spouse has the same single-spouse throughout his life.

2. Polygamy: 

Polygamy is a type of marriage in which there is a plurality of partners. It allows a man to marry more than one woman or a woman to marry more than one man at a time. Polygamy is of two types such as polygamy and polyandry.

a. Polygyny: 

Polygyny is a type of marriage in which a man marries more than one wife at a time. It was practiced in most of the ancient civilizations. It prevailed among the ancient Hebrews, Assyrians, Babylonians, Indian and others. At present, it is widespread among primitive tribes but it is often simply confined to the wealthier classes. It is practiced among the Eskimo tribes, Crow Indians, African Negroes, the Naga, Gonds and Baigas of India. However, it is also permitted in Muslim Community. Polygyny is of two types:

i. Sororal Polygyny: 

Sororal polygyny is often called a surrogate. The term surrogate comes from the Latin word ‘sorer’ which means sister. Accordingly, it refers to a marriage practice in which a man marries the sisters of his wife at a time or after the death of his wife.

ii. Non-Sororal Polygyny: 

It is just opposite of the sororal polygyny, when a man marries several women at a time who are not necessarily sister to each other it is known as non-sororal polygyny.

b. Polyandry: 

Polyandry is a very rare type of marriage in the present day. In this type of marriage, a woman marries several men at a time. In the words of K.M. Kapadia, “Polyandry is a form of union in which a woman has more than one husband at a time or in which brothers share a wife or wives in common”. It is practiced among the Tibetans, Marquesas Islanders of Polynesia, the Bahamas of Africa, the tribals of Samoa and others. In India, the tribes such as Tiyan, the Toda, the Kota, the Khasa and Ladakhi Bota also practice polyandry. The Nairs of Kerala were polyandrous previously. Polyandry is divided into two types:

i. Fraternal Polyandry: 

When several brothers share a common wife it is called fraternal or adelphic polyandry. Draupadi’s marriage to Pandavas is a fine example of fraternal polyandry. The determination of the father is associated with some rituals. It is prevalent among the Todas.

ii. Non-fraternal Polyandry:

It is just the opposite of fraternal polyandry. In this type of marriage husbands of a woman is not necessarily brother to each other. This type of marriage is found among the Nairs of Kerala, Wife goes to spend some time with each of her husbands. So long as a woman lives with one of her husbands, the others have no claim on her. This mainly happens due to the scarcity of women.

3. Cenogamy or Group Marriage: 

Group marriage means the marriage of two or more women with two or more men. Every woman is the wife of every man belonging to a particular group. Sociologists, like Dr. Rivers call it a kind of sexual communism. This type of marriage is found among some tribals in Australia, India, Tibet and Ceylon are believed to have practiced group marriage.

RULES OF MARRIAGE RESTRICTIONS

Marriage is not a mere license to live as spouses. It provides the basis of social structure and involves social, mutual and individual obligations. Marriage bonds are, therefore, in every society strictly disciplined by exogamous and endogamous restrictions. Marriage is made possible under the conditions that society deems fit. The restrictions differ from society to society; so also differ from time to time. The conditions have been laid and changed also in the interest of harmony and betterment. Endogamy and exogamy are the two main rules of marriage that condition marital choice.

1. ENDOGAMY OR ENDOGAMOUS MARRIAGE:

Endogamy is the form of marriage in which one must marry within one’s own caste or other group. This rule does not permit marriage of close kin. These endogamous groups specifically refer to tribe, caste, sub-caste, and varna endogamy.

i. Tribal or Divisional Endogamy:  

This is the endogamy in which no individual can marry outside his own tribe or division. Like caste, a tribe is also an endogamous unit.

ii. Caste Endogamy: 

This form of caste endogamy, prohibits the members of a caste to marry outside their own caste.

iii. Sub-caste endogamy: 

This is the type of endogamy in which choice for marriage is restricted to the sub-caste.

iv. Varna Endogamy: 

Varna endogamy prescribes marriages between the members of the same Varna. Marriage between the members of the same varan was regarded as proper and ideal.

2. EXOGAMY OR EXOGAMOUS MARRIAGE:

Exogamy refers to the rule that a man must marry someone outside his own group. It prohibits marrying within groups such as gotra, pravara, sapinda and village.

i. Gotra Exogamy: 

Gotra refers to the clan. Members of a particular gotra or clan are supposed to have close blood relations among themselves. Hence the Hindu practice of one marrying outside one’s own ‘gotra’ is gotra exogamy.

ii. Pravara Exogamy: 

Pravara means siblings. People originating from a common saint are said to belong to a particular Pravara. According to Pravara exogamy, one has to marry outside one’s own pravara. Marriage within pravara is forbidden.

iii. Sapinda Exogamy: 

Sapinda means-lineage. People belonging to five generations from the father side and three or seven generations from the mother side are known as sapindas. They believed to belong to a particular pinda. Hence according to sapinda exogamy marriage within one’s own sapinda is forbidden. They are supposed to marry outside one’s own sapinda.

iv. Village Exogamy: 

According to this principle marriage within one’s own village is forbidden each and every society prescribes certain rules relating to marriage. Some societies put several restrictions on marriage among kins whereas some other societies allow marriage between a limited number of kins.

There is a greater trend towards exogamous marriage. Since endogamy is said to be conservative, it is widely criticized. Exogamy is appreciated as progressive and more scientific. It also brought peoples of various castes, races, religious groups and tribals together. It can effectively reduce social distance among people and encourage and support social solidarity and communal unity.

CHANGING PATTERNS OR TRENDS IN INDIAN MARRIAGE SOCIETY

Indian society is undergoing a drastic change due to economic prosperity and the Internet revolution that has exposed people to social trends prevalent across the world. Marriage has turned out to be the most revolutionized institution of our conservative Indian society. The way people perceive marriage, organize ceremonies, take vows, and build relationships are changing in tandem leading to a new face of Indian society.

Traditionally, parents found the match for their children and the marriage was formalized strictly as per the rituals. The ceremonies were very formal and the objective was to please the boy’s family as much as possible. Today, many children are choosing their own partners and prefer opting for court marriages to avoid arguments over rituals between the families. In other cases, parents accept their children’s choice and take charge of solemnizing the relationship with utmost pomp and show.

Earlier, the boy and the girl were not allowed to meet before the marriage. They saw each other only on the day of marriage. Eventually, it gave way to phone chats and then a few meetings in the presence of a family member before the marriage. But today in the 21st century, both the partners try to spend maximum time together. They even buy their marriage trousseau together and spend long hours chatting on phone.

Unlike yesterday, many girls are working before marriage and they put forward their condition to continue working after marriage. As a result, girls are managing both their personal and professional lives smoothly. This, in turn, has dissolved the demarcation between gender roles. Today, boys are equally involved in household chores as girls. On the other hand, girls are also providing financial support in time of need.

As the joint family system is being replaced by nuclear families, the closeness and the level of comfort between the partners is increasing. They have ample space to talk and strengthen their relationships. In a joint system, the partners spent very few hours together because of a lack of space due to a large number of members in the family. This acted as a bottleneck in removing the communication gap between the couple.

An increase in the women employment ratio and the number of women-centric laws has led to the empowerment of women financially and mentally. Now, it is not easy to subject her to any sort of harassment because she is equipped with all the means to live an independent life. Let us put forth some of the changing occurrences in our traditional marriage system in Indian society.

CHANGES OCCURRING IN THE MARRIAGE PATTERNS

1. Changes in the Forms of Marriage: 

Though in the traditional Hindu society, monogamy was the prime form of marriage yet polyandry, polygamy, bigamy and marriage by exchange were quite popular. Now over time polygamy, polyandry and exchange marriages have severely declined and monogamy is being followed by most people of Indian society.

2. Change in the Aim and Purpose of marriage: 

The traditional Hindu marriage considers “dharma” as for the performance of religious duties. Earlier the marriages were to perform the sacred duties and functions. The prime function was to become kins and protectors of the family. With the advent of a variety of factors like mass media, consumerism, globalization the sacred types of relations are turning fade. The aims and purposes have changed their meaning from respect, faithfulness, sincerity to less respect, greed and unfaithfulness etc.

3. Change in Process of Mate Selection: 

In olden times, parents usually selected the spouse and there was hardly any say of the girl. There are numerous stories and stocks which support that parents used to marry their daughters according to their own will. Now due to various factors like increasing education among girls, urbanization, economic independence etc., children are consulted in marriage matters and even girls and boys talk and try to know the views of each other before executing marriage ceremonies. The Indian system therefore crumbled when forced by changing reality in the form of extended education of girls, the effect of this on raising ages at marriages and making the choice of spouse themselves (Cadwell, 1992). The marriages which were earlier held by middlemen are now replaced with matchmaking agencies and the advertisement by newspapers and various social networking sites (Jones, 2010).

4. Change in the Age at Marriage:  

When one goes to age at marriage in India, it comes out that children used to get married at an early age and it was more in case of girls. In some specific cases like Rajasthan, girls were married at a very early age i.e. age of 3-4 years even when they did not know the meaning of marriage. The marriage system was heavily dependent on arranged marriage at an early age in the traditional societies of India. The sexuality of women needs to be carefully controlled to uphold the honour of the family husbands and wives should not be too emotionally attached, as this could threaten the unity of the patriarchal family (Jones, 2010). Early marriage helps to protect young women’s chastity, marks a clear break from their natal families, makes them more likely to accept the structure of authority in their new family and weakens the husband-wife bond (Reddy, 1982). Now due to the arrival of various factors like technology and awareness among girls, there is a big change. Legally, the age for a girl’s marriage is 18 years and boys 21 years. Further due to the arrival of professional education, children are busy in studies for a longer time and hence marriages get delayed in 25-30 years. The trend towards late marriage is associated with the socio-economic changes that enhance the status of women by increasing educational and employment opportunities (Puri,1999). It has played a major role in determining the growth rate of the population through its linkage to marital fertility. The delayed marriage makes a considerable difference in lowering fertility rates. The fertility rate in India in 1970 was 5.6 which has reduced to 2.8 in 2008. (World Bank Report, 2008).

5. Change in the stability of Marriage (Increase in Divorce Rates): 

In the olden times, an institution of marriage was quite stable and hardly any divorce was noted. Fear of kinship system, strong social codes, never allowed married couples to break up marriages even if they want to live together or not. In the past divorce carried a considerable stigma and the pressure for the sake of the children and also for the sake of appearances and family honour, was very strong (Goody, 1973). Now due to legislative, education, technology advancement and more awareness has changed stability in the institution of marriage. Divorce is increasing in society across the globe. In the agro-based states like Punjab and Haryana, there is an increase of 150% since last decade and in Kerala known as most literate state there is an increase of 350% divorce rates since last decade. Love, personal commitment and intrinsic satisfaction are now seen as the cornerstone of marriage (Allen and Grow, 2001).

6. Change in the field of selection (Increasing number of Inter-caste Marriage): 

Until sometime back, marrying a person belonging to some other caste or religion was not permitted by the families. Kapadia (1982) conducted a study on inter-caste marriages in India and the data revealed that more than fifty percent of parents expressed their willingness to allow their children to marry outside their own caste. Only one third were against this departure from custom.

Afzal (2009) found that religion plays important role in inter-caste marriage. Women belonging to Muslim and other religious groups were less likely to have inter-caste marriages than Hindus. Also, working women were more likely to have inter-caste marriages than non-working women in Punjab.

7. Change in Economic Aspects of Marriages: 

Marriage is often held in cities as a social or a civil ceremony than a religious ceremony. The concept of Indian weddings has seen drastic changes, over the last few years. In the past, the ceremony was a family affair, confined to an economic budget, even though the guest list was long. On the contrary, in the present time, the occasion is generally celebrated in an elaborated way, with a number of rituals that are conducted before, during and after it. A long guest list, colourful and extravagant venue, lavish feast and a series of rituals are the key ingredients of the 'big fat Indian wedding' that we see today. In many cases, the wife's family is expected and obliged to provide a substantial dowry at the time of marriage and thereafter to continue to make presentations to the husband's family.  (Miher, 1988). Huge amount is spent on the ceremony to make it a ‘grand gala’. Money is spent lavishly for decorating marriage mantaps, arranging grand dinner, take-home sweets, music orchestra, video-shooting, photography, marriage processions etc.

FACTORS RESPONSIBLE FOR CHANGING MARRIAGE PATTERNS

1. Economic factors: 

Changes in marriage institutions are clearly related to the remarkable development in education, increasing urbanization and involvement of women in economic activities outside the household. People have started “going out of the family” for work and women also have joined men in process of finding out jobs and earning money. This has boosted the self-respect and self-confidence of women. These developments have affected the institution of marriage (Kapadia, 1982). Another factor is affluence materialism. Through technological improvements, the living standards and real purchasing power of individuals have been enhanced. The primary effect of this increased affluence of marriage breakdown is that people can better afford the expenses of divorce which include not only legal fees but also the cost of maintaining a second home and added cost of recreation for the children (Afzal, 2009). This all is an indication of changes occurring in the institution of marriage.

2. Social factors: 

In the past, there were joint families in which there was the interdependence of family members and there was a closely interacting community. In the transition, today’s highly urban and affluent society, work patterns have become more differentiated reducing the necessity to interact with the community. This pattern has given rise to individualism (Sonawat, 2008). There is a sense of ‘Systemness’ this is the concept of functional theory which describes how society becomes increasingly complex through structural differentiation and specialization. Now, society is characterized by high degree of specialization in terms of employment, education, health care, transportation. Prior to this specialization, the family served the economic, educational, recreational, health care, procreative, protection and affection roles for its members. Gradually, through industrialization, these responsibilities have been taken from family and institutionalized outside the home ( Sinha,1984). The institution of marriage has gone a tremendous change as there is a great change in living conditions, values, norms and traditions in the patriarchal society girls had no say in the family matters especially in marriage affairs. Earlier they could not interfere or raise any question even if their own marriages were fixed. In the past, divorce was seen as ‘Stigma’ but now the time has changed. Girls are openly coming forward with the views starting from the selection of a mate and have full rights for divorce if the marriage is not successful. Other things such as changes in public perception are often referred to in the vernacular as ‘changing times.’ People have now become more self-centred and a sense of individualization is pulling them away from traditional norms of marriage and forming households without legal marriage (Herzberger,1993).

3. Psychological factors: 

In the past, for women the greatest personal achievement and source of reward was to be married, raise children and ensure an optimal home and family life. No other life content could provide the same sense of personal worth. For men self-fulfillment lay in maintaining good employment, marrying the woman of their dreams and providing financial support to their family. Men and women have clear cut ideas of their respective roles. However, increasing urbanization, institutionalization of family roles, technological improvements in home care products and increased affluence reduced the potential of home life to provide stimulation and feelings of worth from satisfactory personal achievements. (Hines,1997). In addition, the ethos of individualism encouraged both men and women to realize their own potentials. The growing economic independence of women led to demands for more egalitarian family norms in the areas of child-rearing, decision making, finances and household tasks. These changes in family norms and role expectations brought increased friction into homes due to the departure of established patterns. Women grapple with the desire to have both careers and children so there is conflict in marital relations and disturbed domestic life.

4. Technological factors: 

The arrival of new technology has also been emerging as a new factor for generating changes in the institution of marriage. Earlier there used to be joint families in which grandparents and other senior members had control over the juniors but now there are nuclear families in which both the parents are working and children are ignored to a great extent. They do not have any surveillance on them and they become isolated and take support of mass media and other technologies such as computers, mobiles, television etc. They make use of networking sites which take them away from family members but closer to outer world (Kolenda, 1987).

5. Legislative factors: 

The legislative measures taken by the government in the last 50 years or more has helped to change the nature of institution of marriage as now legal safeguards are provided in marriage which was not part of traditional Hindu society. Many of the beliefs, values, ideals and rules of marriage laid down by the Hindu Shastrakaras have lost their original meaning and importance and purpose now. During the British rule and also after independence legislations were passed in order to bring about desirable changes in the Hindu Marriage system. The laws were related to (i) age at marriage (ii) field of mate selection (iii) number of spouses in marriage (iv) breakage of marriage (v)dowry to be taken and given (vi)remarriage. Various inhuman practices associated with marriage such as the practice of sati has been removed by law. Legislations have not only abolished child marriages but also fixed the minimum marriageable age for boys and girls as for girls is 18 years and boys 21 years. The legislations have also made clear the selection in a marriage that is, who should marry whom. They have also legalized inter-caste and inter-religious marriages and have made provisions for registered marriages. Legislations have made provisions for divorce. Equal rights are conferred on men and women in this regard. (Rao, 2004) Legislations have also specified the conditions of divorce. Legislations have also been undertaken to give special protection to women preventing the exploitation of their helplessness and weaknesses by others. In order to loosen the tight grip of the patriarchal values over the joint family’s legislations have also been undertaken to provide equal opportunities, privileges, rights and facilities even to women.

EMERGING NEW INSTITUTIONS

Besides Shift in Age, education, caste, dowry and divorces there are some structural changes in the marriage pattern which have a great impact on society. Though limited in number but in metropolitan cities and urban areas there are occurring some other serious problems which are as follows:

Gay relationships/ Lesbians

Though it seems like a shock to Indian society gay/lesbians are emerging in India at a fast rate. According to a report by NGO, there are thousands of gay/ lesbians in metropolitan cities of Indian society. It is a kind of relationship where the same-sex persons marry each other. In 2004, the Civil Partnership Act has given same-sex couples similar legal rights to married couples in respect of pensions, inheritance, tenancies and property. Though this kind of emerging institution is not conducive for the smooth working of the society and thus marriages follow a different pattern than in traditional societies.

Cohabitation

Young people may find marriage less important because premarital sex is becoming increasingly acceptable. Cohabitation is when the couple moves from dating to living together which may or may not lead to marriage (Manning, 2007). Today, it is more socially acceptable for couples to begin a sexual relationship, set up a home and have children outside formal marriage. Since 2002, cohabiting couples have had the same right to adopt as married couples.

One-Person Households

When one person establishes his family is the one-person household. People are now more self-centred. Men, as well as women, want to establish their own identities by independently establishing households. There are almost three in ten households (6.8 million people) who are one person held houses (World Bank Report, 2008).

Living apart together

It is commonly seen in the western countries where the people though being married are living far from each other. As people are getting more isolated and have greater egoistic attitudes, they don’t want their privacy to have interfered so they adopt the path of Living apart together. In 2008, according to a survey by British Social Attitudes it was noted that every 1 in 10 adults is ‘living apart together’ or ‘LATs’.

DINK (Double Income No Kids) Syndrome 

The term was coined in the 1980s at the height of “yuppie" culture. The post-2000 economic crisis has solidified this social trend as more couples wait longer to have kids, with one in five choosing not to have them at all. People don’t want to take responsibility for the kids and want to enjoy their life without any tension. They find the kids as the additional responsibility.

Changes are bound to occur and institution of marriage is also experiencing many changes. Technological, economical, new educational patterns and changes in lifestyles, are major factors playing profound role in this change. With the passage of time the age at marriage, process of mate selection aims and the purposes of marriage, trends of divorce rates and the economic aspects of marriage have undergone a tremendous change. There are definitely serious consequences of the changing marriage patterns as the increasing age at marriage makes a considerable difference in lowering the fertility rates. Various factors such as the social, economic, psychological, technological and legislative play a great role in the change of marriage institutions. As people are becoming more independent in the wake of liberalization, consumerism and its generation of unreal aspirations have increased the gap between desires and their fulfillment. Further, the new values made acceptably, or even desirable by such consumerism are “getting rich quick in any way possible”. In such a setting the existing unequal power relations within the family become a channel for acquiring wealth quickly at any cost. Conflicts in this institution are also emerging due to the interaction of tradition with modernity. New patterns in the marriage like Gay, Cohabitation etc. are also emerging in some places which may have more effects in the coming time. Though these new trends are observed today the importance of marriage has not diminished. It is still universally practiced. Though its sanctity is affected a little, it is not reduced to the level of a mere civil contract. Hindu men and women are still emotionally involved in their marriages.